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A picky year-old from Mumbai whose unwillingness to marry raises his mom’s blood pressure. A headstrong year-old lawyer from Houston who says she doesn’t want to settle for just anybody. A cheerful year-old Guyanese-American dancer with Indian roots who simply wants to find a good person to be her husband. These are some of the singles on the new Netflix original series Indian Matchmaking , a reality TV show about arranged marriages in Indian culture.
The show follows Sima Taparia, a professional matchmaker from Mumbai, as she jets around the world, quizzing clients on their preferences, handing them “biodatas” for potentially compatible mates that’s the term she uses for what seem to be a cross between a resume and a dating profile and ultimately introducing them to prospective spouses.
It is now out there in full glory, glamorized on screen, endorsed by the elite. Shweta Bhandral.
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Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking’ Is The Talk Of India — And Not In A Good Way
Marriages are made in heaven and celebrated on earth. Today, an increasing number of them are made over internet sites. Anuradha Vinod Gupta, CEO and founder of one such site –Vows for Eternity — has brought an elite twist to matchmaking, especially for US-based Indians and top corporates of the country.
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With his team of relationship managers, counsellors, photographers, chartered accountants and a sophisticated software that helps sort out matches based on location, community, age and height, among other filters, Goswami found a life partner for the year-old that checked all the boxes. I met a lot of people and my family stepped in only when I was sure. Read The evolution of marriage, from strictly arranged to semi-arranged. But I dated my wife for a year before the wedding.
They run background checks, match horoscopes, caste and family wealth, and even discuss prickly subjects like dowry. Many of these stages of Indian matchmaking and the misogyny, casteism and sexism that they sometimes reveal recently found a global audience through an eight-part series on Netflix.
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The Trouble with Indian Matrimony: Matchmaker, Make me a Match!
With each episode of Indian Matchmaking , it appears as if the Netflix series is trying hard to sell viewers the idea of arranged marriage — cute old couples narrate anecdotes from their long married lives together, affirming that the system really works. The lead matchmaker of the show, Sima Taparia, repeatedly states that marriages are made in heaven while also asserting her role as some kind of divine emissary on earth. Educated, urban, successful, beautiful singles express their loneliness, helplessness and need for a partner as if an arranged marriage is the only solution.
Lying uneasily somewhere between reality and drama, the show is set in US, Mumbai and Delhi and follows Mumbai-based Sima as she goes globetrotting in search of suitable singles to match. Words like adjustment, compromise, and flexibility are thrown in every few minutes — they are the very essence of marriage according to her. In the Indian marriage market, being fair, tall and educated are repeatedly pronounced as valuable qualities that give you bargaining power.
of one such site –Vows for Eternity – has brought an elite twist to matchmaking, The expert matchmaker, who has helped many Indian-Americans find their.
Indian Matchmaking treads into dangerous territory when it allows Sima Taparia free rein to reinforce regressive methods of Indian matchmaking as undeniable fact. During the episode, Basra explained to Justin how she might have rushed into marriage, in part due to her Indian family pressuring her. How could I ever trust you? How could anyone ever trust you? The idea is very much to translate the aspirations, insecurities, and fixations of a community for a global audience unfamiliar with its beats.
The trouble is, over the course of eight abruptly structured episodes, Indian Matchmaking becomes an infuriating exercise in delusion, ending up doing exactly what it intended to rally against: exoticising a calculated, cultural practice that in reality is steeped in decades of misogyny, casteism, and gender inequality. Her clientele, atleast the ones who feature on the show, seem to be exclusively upper-class and wealthy — a majority of them are in fact, non-resident Indians.
By focusing only on these one-percenters, Indian Matchmaking, at the outset, makes the choice to remain blind to the realities of India, limiting its scope to a version of arranged marriage that is heavily sanitised and often comes with no real repercussions. That in itself is a comically low-stakes predicament in a country where resistance to arranged marriage usually leads to caste-based atrocities, honour killing, and rampant violence against women. Although, the privilege of her clients imply that she is expensive, the unanswered questions — Does she charge by the hour?
Does she offer personalised packages? Can families ask for a refund if Taparia is unable to find a prospective match? Is she flying business class? Sima Taparia from Mumbai, as the matchmaker introduces herself in every episode of the Netflix series.
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Offbeat Thursday August 20, Pradhyuman, a jewellery designer from Mumbai, has now opened up about his experience of participating in Indian Matchmaking and how the Netflix show raised questions about his sexuality in an interview with ‘Humans of Bombay’. Mouse and keyboard support is coming to the entire classic Halo collection on the Xbox One as well.
In Elite and Everyman: The Cultural Politics of the Indian Middle. Classes, eds. Amita Baviskar and Raka Ray. New Delhi: Routledge. Baviskar, Amita, and Raka.
Critics accuse the show of stereotyping and commodifying women, lacking diversity and promoting a backwards vision of marriage where astrologers and meddling parents are more influential than the preferences of brides and grooms. They complain that the series, which follows matchmaker Sima Taparia as she jets between Mumbai and the U. In fact, the real problem may be their discomfort with the way marriage works in India, with social stability prized over individual happiness.
A small fraction still practices child marriage, with some communities holding betrothal ceremonies as soon as a girl is born. At the other end of the spectrum, there is growing acceptance of queer relationships, divorce and even avoiding marriage altogether. But most Indian marriages are still arranged. Even college-educated, urban, middle-class Indians show a strong preference to marry within caste.
Muslims in South Asia marry within their biradari or jaat — a stand-in for Hindu caste. The reason Guyanese-born Nadia faces a limited set of options in the show is not because of her South American birth, but because Indians who were shipped as indentured laborers to the New World were mostly lower castes, or so perceived. The fact that Indian Matchmaking packages women as slim, tall, fair, presentable, likable, flexible and so on is, once again, a consequence of using marriage to preserve caste lines.
When the purpose of marriage is to find love, companionship and compatibility, then the focus is on the characteristics of the individual.
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Marriage — an eight lettered word, carrying the bond between two individuals, their emotions, rituals, and cultures. It is a divine beginning of a new blissful journey holding hands together. Indian marriages, unlike western culture, not only revolve around the two individuals marrying each other but it also cares about their family, their traditions, cultures, rituals and the understanding of both the families. When everything settles down, the relation cultivates to the bond of lifetime.
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On Netflix’s “Indian Matchmaking,” marriage consultant Sima Taparia travels the world to meet with hopeful clients and help them find the perfect match for an arranged marriage. The format of the show is simple. Hopeful brides- and grooms-to-be meet with Taparia — often with their overbearing parents in tow — for an initial consultation. Criteria are laid out, potential suitors are presented on paper, dates are arranged, and then it’s up to the couple to decide if it’s a match.
In some respects, the producers should be commended. This is a show that turns away from the “big fat Indian wedding” trope and offers something fresh: a look at how some traditional-facing couples meet through the services of a professional matchmaker. The characters’ stories — as well as cringier moments — play out in entertaining ways, at times revealing the absurdities and awkwardness of matchmaking. I laughed when, for example, Taparia sought the consultation of an astrologist and a face reader.
Matchmaker Sima Taparia meets with hopeful clients. Credit: Netflix.